"A letter to my father"
It is now over six years since I needed to buy you a fathers day card and six years plus since I carefully selected a gift. Much water has passed under the bridge but never has a day gone by when I haven't thought of you and missed your loving guiding hand in my life.
I thought I knew you well but since that March day we said our goodbyes I have learnt so much more. Your loving kindness and gifts used, expressed in loving memory by your friends made me realise there was so much more to you than being just "my dad".
Your selfish love and kindness since teenage years used to guide and mature boys into strong men with your years of voluntary work for the Boys Brigade. Work recognised justly with being made a "Companion of the Queens service order". All your life you truely knew how to serve.
But you were even more than that. A talented photographer , gifted picture framer, art gallery owner, award winning weaver as well as in your later years a writer. Your mediation skills well used on the meetings you chaired and led. You have been sorely missed by many.
Our first house you helped us buy, my first car you lent me money for and in those worrying hours of labour that may have gone so horribly wrong a comfort and strength to David and your smile of joy as you greeted your new born grandson long remembered.
I never knew or guessed how hard it is to be "head of the family". [ I sometimes so wish to give this position up, did you so wish? ] You never let us see the stress and strain you must have felt. Never a cross word let alone a "swear" word was heard. No strong drinker or absent father were you. Always present and ever loving with strength and silent nuturing love.
You guided me in my first weaving project, taught me to fish, showed me the wonder of the developing print in the darkroom, let me start my working life in your gallery and when I strayed from the straight and narrow path you were there to pick me up and lead the way home. Not once, not twice but many times! Always loving never judging.
When I wanted to garden you built the compost bins and the raised beds. Every year a load of mushroom compost appeared and many a seedling "left over from planting" came my way. Many was the time you arose from your bed to "rescue" us when one of our many cars needed a tow. When times were hard furniture "appeared" as you had fun at the auctions on our behalf sometime being more generous than we had room for!
You gave me away twice , paid for two weddings and twice it was you I rung when I was left behind by loved ones passing. Your strength and love always only a phone call away.
Dear dad I miss you still! I sometimes think I would give anything for one smile, one hug, one phone call. When times are hard I miss your wisdom and strength, those phone calls for guidance. But I think that was your greatest gift.... somehow , somewhere you gifted me some of your strength. Each day I get up and get on.... because of lessons learnt well at your knee. If I can be half the wo[man] you were I will be well pleased.
One day , somewhere over the sunset I hope to see you and thank you as I never did. I love you dad.
Happy fathers day.
"Mana island sunset from Plimmerton beach, a view you knew well."
Dear reader
My dad was a very special man and one of the things Mum gifted me with recently when I helped her move house was a bag of quotes he had saved from news letters and the like. I thought this treasure richer than gold. Quotes my dad found good enough to save so I have been using them to head my messages. Here is another and well did my dad live by this:
" I shall pass through this world but once. Any good thing that I can do or any kind word that I can speak, let me do it now, let me not neglect or defer it, for I shall not pass this way again."
May I remember this in the years to come and if you still have your dads make the most of them, love them, spend time with them as one day they too will be over the sunset.
Knit on >^..^<
1 Comments:
A very loving and touching tribute to your father. I, too, miss my dad every day.
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